Week 6: Love Map, Baby, Love Map

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, by John M. Gottman introduces “A Seven-Week Course in Fondness and Admiration”. Through the course of seven weeks, every weekday you respond to a prompt; it’s a simple sentence that provokes kind and loving words toward your spouse. The theory behind the course is, if we practice positive and admirable thoughts toward our loved ones, it will become habit and significantly change our relationships and personal character. Sign me up!
Gottman suggests that since most couples spend the weekdays apart, they tend to put their relationship on the back burner until the weekend. I can relate to this concept. Jake and I have similar work schedules, which is a huge blessing, but means that we consistently spend Monday thru Friday apart. When we get home from work our time is dedicated to recovering from the day and preparing for the next, it’s rare that we have genuine one-on-one time to feel appreciation and care from one another. Weekends are wonderful, we have all the time in the world for each other and dedicate hours to entertaining and getting to know each other. By participating in this seven week course, I hope to see improvements in my marriage on the weekdays especially. I’ve already seen it improve my husband’s mood this week and has motivated him to serve me in meaningful ways, which has improved my mood as well!
I have notecards and fun magnets that I leave my responses on each day for my husband to read. I had thought about using a whiteboard and erasing it each week, but I hope there will be some that he will want to keep as reminders. Here’s how week one is looking:

WEEK ONE:

Monday-
Thought: I am genuinely fond of my partner.
Task: List one characteristic you find endearing or lovable.
Notecard: I am genuinely fond of the way you won’t let me go to bed until you’ve made me laugh.

Tuesday-
Thought: I can easily speak of the good times in our marriage.
Task: Pick one good time and write a sentence about it
Notecard: One of my favorite days of our marriage was this summer when we were doing work outside and ditched chores to jump in the pool, fully clothed. We never actually finished the yard work, we ordered pizza and watched movies instead.

Wednesday-
Thought: I can easily remember romantic, special times in our marriage.
Task: Pick one such time and think about it.
Notecard: Remember my birthday last year when you surprised me with a road trip to a bed and breakfast? I was so spoiled all day long; I felt so loved.

 Thursday-
Thought: I am physically attracted to my partner.
Task: Think of one physical attribute you like.
Notecard: I love your smile and eyes.

 Friday-
Thought: My partner has specific qualities that make me proud.
Task: Write down one characteristic that makes you proud.
Notecard: I am proud of the way you motivate everyone around you to work hard and reach their potential. 

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