We Are Gathered Here Today

This week’s readings have been focused on a topic that has frequented our dinner table and pillow talk recently; the importance of fidelity and honesty in a marriage. My husband and I have been married for almost two years and have gone through a lot in a short amount of time. Most recently we packed up our life in Utah and moved to Alabama to go after my husbands dream career of owning his own training gym. It has been a trying experience for us but one that has brought us closer together. When we decided to move to Alabama, one of Jake’s close friends contacted him asking if Jake had any open positions in his company that he would consider hiring him for. Jake jumped on the opportunity, excited to have a familiar face out here with us. His friend, we’ll call him Eddie; his wife, who we’ll call Maddie; and his daughter, Carly all moved to Alabama soon after we did. This is a family we have known for years and Eddie is someone Jake has worked with closely in the past. Soon after w...

At the conclusion of Gottman’s book, he shares with us his “marital poop detector”. Gottman uses the marital poop detector to find early warning signs of something not smelling quite right in a marriage. When I was reading, I thought of a favorite saying from high school, (back when things like poop were funny). Anytime someone would say, “Does that make sense?” or something of the sort, we would respond with, “yeah I’m smelling what you’re stepping in.” As funny as this may have been, it’s applicable to marriage in that we need to be on the same page with our spouse, especially when things are turning sour. If I’ve learned anything from Gottman and Goddard this semester, it is the importance of communication in any relationship, but especially marriage; the marital poop detector is no different. Being able to sense when things are off in our relationships before they escalate to a point of no return is a powerful tool. But how can we achieve this? How can we smell the poop? (Are yo...

As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we hear the word ‘consecrate’, in a lot of different contexts. We use consecrated oil in priesthood blessings, we live the Law of Consecration, and are asked to consecrate all we have to the building up of God’s kingdom. The Bible Dictionary defines consecrate, “To dedicate, to make holy, or to become righteous.” With this definition, how do we apply this to our marriages? How do I consecrate myself to my husband and to the covenants we have made? Elder L.G. Robbins gave an enlightening address in 1998 titled, “Agency and Anger.” Elder Robbins shared an insight from author William Wilbanks; he said, “Aggression … suppressing the anger, talking about it, screaming and yelling, are all learned strategies in dealing with anger. We choose the one that has proved effective for us in the past. Ever notice how seldom we lose control when frustrated by our boss, but how often we do when annoyed by friends or family?” I will ...

President Ezra Taft Benson addresses us on a “very misunderstood sin,” in his talk, “Beware of Pride”, from 1989 General Conference. Every word he shares is powerfully inspired and hit me to the very core. This talk was given for me; I need this counsel! There are a few points President Benson made that resonated with me but one of the most profound was that pride is rooted in contention. “Pride is essentially competitive in nature… The proud make every man their adversary by pitting their intellects, opinions, works, wealth, talents, or any other worldly measuring device against others.” How often do I let pride cloud my judgement? Almost daily! Anytime my pride comes into play, it is because I feel insecure in comparing myself to others. Pride seems to be a protection of our natural man against the challenge of loving others for their successes and talents. Instead of learning from each other and celebrating our differences we pit ourselves against others and strive to be seen a...